NO-EFF-EXXX

NOFX - Franco Un-American (live on Conan 8/10/04) (link goes to a page where the video can be downloaded)

This was fucking historic. NOFX played their television debut, and will probably never play (live) again on TV. In anticipation of this, I wondered what exactly NOFX had planned up their sleeve for the performance. Was Fat Mike going to rip off his shirt mid performance to show us a sharpie-d chest bearing FUCK BUSH for the whole American late night TV watchign audience? What kind of obscenities would be censored by NBC? Did NBC really understand what the hell they were doing by giving NOFX the opportunity to raise hell for three minutes? I actually hoped they would have played their song Idiot Son of an Asshole, but they did pretty damn well anyway.

In the end, they succeeded my expectations, and had more fun with it. First off, the album version of Franco Un-American is pretty straight forward anti-conservatives, anti-Bush, blah blah. Second, the band all wore anti-Bush regalia. Fair enough. As the band rips through the song, you just knew they were going to whip something out by the end that would no doubt leave their mark.

Sure enough it starts with the censors bleeping out "fucking" out of the line "I eat no breath mints 'cause of fucking hoofed horses." And then Fat Mike pleads "Don't anybody vote for Nader."

As the band goes into the next section, the tension rises. The camera pans over to the face of Fat Mike singing into the microphone. "We all know George Bush is an imbicile." Allright it's starting to get more interesting. Now, as Fat Mike opens his eyes and sings the next line staring directly into the camera, you can see him get this sheer adolescent glee of breaking all the rules, and feeling absolutely thrilled to be doing so. And so he says, "He loves Dick but he hates homosexuals."

bwahahhaa. The producer for Conan is no doubt expressing his anger at NOFX at this point, thinking, this wasn't in the lyric sheet they handed me! GODDAMNIT. NBC is gonna be pissed. This fucking band will never be on TV again!

And that's exactly how NOFX wanted it.

As Fat Mike finishes the last chuckle of Franco Un-American, he puts his hand to his head and shakes it. What the hell did I just do? I'm so punk.

What is not seen on the video clip I have linked is where Conan, very, very nervously (and not trying to be funny at all) meanders onto the stage to meakly thank NOFX for playing. Then after the commercial break he thanks the guests again, and thanks NOFX for pleasing half the audience. I've never seen Conan act that way before. Historic, indeed.